BEDSIDE REFLECTIONS
 
Patty: My surgery is finally behind me.  God granted my desire and had the surgery date moved forward to August 17.  This meant that from the time I decided to have surgery until the day it actually took place was just two weeks!  It turned out that I received care from the best back surgeon in Israel and stayed at one of the premier hospitals, and our insurance covered almost everything.

The reason why this particular date was so important to me was that I had felt by the Lord that he was leading me into the “wilderness” for a time to be set apart with him.  August 16 was the beginning of Elul, which is considered to be the time when Moses went up the mountain for the second time to intercede for the Israelites after they sinned in the matter of the golden calf.  He stayed there for forty days, which would take him to the time of Yom Kippur.  Practicing religious Jews use this period of time as a time to seek the Lord’s face in preparation for the High Holidays.  The shofar is even blown every morning in the synagogue from the second day of Elul.  So having my surgery on the second day of Elul was very significant for me.

God has burdened me with the condition of the Bride who needs to be woken up.  She has become anaesthetized through giving herself to activities that do not really restore the soul but just numbs it.  In other words, when we are weary, downcast or bored, we turn to soul junk food instead of the real live food, the bread from heaven and the water of life.  Just as in the natural it was very difficult for me to wake up from surgery, so it has been difficult to break free of the effects of eating too much soul junk food.  I knew that this season of recovery was to be a place of restoring my soul to its first love, to being fully alive. I would then be interceding for the Bride to once again be ignited with holy passion.  I want to part of a company of people who are living their life wholeheartedly and who love not their own life even unto death (Revelation 12:11), a Bride who has made herself ready (Revelation 19:7)!
 
 

One of my prayers was that I would wake up singing from the aneesthetic, with a joy and wholeheartedness of embracing life.  When I was in the holding room before the surgery my heart was full of peace and I hummed many different worship songs.  Then, when I woke up after surgery, my heart almost exploded with joy and singing.  I knew that I had broken free and God was faithful!

After my surgery, there were some difficult times with cerebral spinal fluid leakage that created horrendous headaches.  Also, that first night my heart and breathing rate were so low that they had to monitor me closely; I was hooked up to so many wires.  They told me that every time I heard the machine beep I had to consciously breathe.  Needless to say that beeper went off every two or three minutes and I found myself in a modern day Chinese torture treatment.  Thankfully I had made a playlist of healing music before coming to the hospital so I had it playing almost continually.  Also, I had the wonderful support of my husband, Dan, and my children.  I would hate to have to go through this without this kind of support.  Just having them stroking my head or arm strengthened me to endure.

The next day I was crying out to God for something solid to hold on to.  My faith was being shaken because of additional problems not related to the surgery.  Here I have had thousands praying for me and still I was struggling.  But then God, in his faithfulness, made a spiritual four-poster bed for me to rest in.  He showed me in such a powerful way that all his Word was true and that not one of his promises has failed.  I realized that if there was one lie, one unfulfilled promise, the universe would collapse.  Every thing in creation is dependent on the trustworthiness of God.  I could write a book on what he showed me.  Then he spoke of the blood of his Son that speaks a far better word then the blood of Abel (Hebrews 12:24).  All our questions about suffering have their answer in Yeshua’s willingness to shed his blood for us.  The efficacy of his blood is eternal!  Then God highlighted his unfailing love that is eternal.  And, last of all, he spoke clearly that his grace was sufficient for whatever I was going through.  When I felt that I was going to lose it, I began to picture this four-poster bed with me laying in it.  I would then go through the revelation of each pillar and was able to enter a deep rest in God.

Going into this wilderness the Lord said that I would learn in a deeper way what it meant to live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Since about 20 hours a day was spent on my side lying down, all I could do is listen.  I listened and am listening to the Word, to worship music and to teachings from podcasts.  I am being saturated with his Word.  Truly God has been faithful and he will continue to uncover the wondrous riches hidden in darkness.

Thank you for all your prayers.  My last appointment with the surgeon was very encouraging and he said that he expects me to have a complete recovery.  But he also said that it is normal to have pain sitting for a few more weeks.  Truly God is the good shepherd who restores my soul.

Dan:  The last months have been quite challenging.  Our primary local pastor at our congregation, Ahavat Yeshua, where I am one of the three elders, was diagnosed with a serious brain tumor.  He has had surgery to remove the tumor and will now undergo a course of radiation therapy and chemotherapy.  This situation is pulling me into more local pastoral responsibility.  We continue the work of mentoring young leaders and expect to be re-establishing the pattern of meeting with couples, though this will now need to be in our home as Patty recovers.

Thank you so much for your love and support.  God richly bless you!

In Messiah’s love,
Patty and Dan Juster