One of my prayers was that I would wake up singing from the aneesthetic, with a joy and wholeheartedness of embracing life. When I was in the holding room before the surgery my heart was full of peace and I hummed many different worship songs. Then, when I woke up after surgery, my heart almost exploded with joy and singing. I knew that I had broken free and God was faithful!
After my surgery, there were some difficult times with cerebral spinal fluid leakage that created horrendous headaches. Also, that first night my heart and breathing rate were so low that they had to monitor me closely; I was hooked up to so many wires. They told me that every time I heard the machine beep I had to consciously breathe. Needless to say that beeper went off every two or three minutes and I found myself in a modern day Chinese torture treatment. Thankfully I had made a playlist of healing music before coming to the hospital so I had it playing almost continually. Also, I had the wonderful support of my husband, Dan, and my children. I would hate to have to go through this without this kind of support. Just having them stroking my head or arm strengthened me to endure.
The next day I was crying out to God for something solid to hold on to. My faith was being shaken because of additional problems not related to the surgery. Here I have had thousands praying for me and still I was struggling. But then God, in his faithfulness, made a spiritual four-poster bed for me to rest in. He showed me in such a powerful way that all his Word was true and that not one of his promises has failed. I realized that if there was one lie, one unfulfilled promise, the universe would collapse. Every thing in creation is dependent on the trustworthiness of God. I could write a book on what he showed me. Then he spoke of the blood of his Son that speaks a far better word then the blood of Abel (Hebrews 12:24). All our questions about suffering have their answer in Yeshua’s willingness to shed his blood for us. The efficacy of his blood is eternal! Then God highlighted his unfailing love that is eternal. And, last of all, he spoke clearly that his grace was sufficient for whatever I was going through. When I felt that I was going to lose it, I began to picture this four-poster bed with me laying in it. I would then go through the revelation of each pillar and was able to enter a deep rest in God.
Going into this wilderness the Lord said that I would learn in a deeper way what it meant to live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Since about 20 hours a day was spent on my side lying down, all I could do is listen. I listened and am listening to the Word, to worship music and to teachings from podcasts. I am being saturated with his Word. Truly God has been faithful and he will continue to uncover the wondrous riches hidden in darkness.
Thank you for all your prayers. My last appointment with the surgeon was very encouraging and he said that he expects me to have a complete recovery. But he also said that it is normal to have pain sitting for a few more weeks. Truly God is the good shepherd who restores my soul.
Dan: The last months have been quite challenging. Our primary local pastor at our congregation, Ahavat Yeshua, where I am one of the three elders, was diagnosed with a serious brain tumor. He has had surgery to remove the tumor and will now undergo a course of radiation therapy and chemotherapy. This situation is pulling me into more local pastoral responsibility. We continue the work of mentoring young leaders and expect to be re-establishing the pattern of meeting with couples, though this will now need to be in our home as Patty recovers.
Thank you so much for your love and support. God richly bless you!
In Messiah’s love,
Patty and Dan Juster
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